Jamie and Yulia were married in a "shortened" version of the traditional Javanese wedding (which can last a full week, we understand). There actually were a number of ceremonies and a lot of symbolism packed into the 2 days. We found many of them quite meaningful and even emotional, sometimes. I am going to explain them in some detail because I found them to be fascinating and sometimes somewhat similar to other cultural rituals we have seen. I learned even more about these AFTER the wedding than I knew at the time!
First, on the day before the actual wedding there was the gathering that brought us, for the first time to Yulia's family home, where her parents still live. This was (as I mentioned earlier) in Kebumen. Jamie's family (our side and his Mom's side, as well as his long time childhood friend, Mike) were transported by rickshaw to the home and entered into some rooms that had been converted into a reception area.
We made quite the spectacle as we rode through the streets in about 5 or 6 rickshaws... all westerners in a city where they are seldom seen. I wish I had photos! I think that the photographers took some (and possibly video) of this amazing experience. As the people watched on the streets I found myself smiling and waving like this was the Rose Bowl Parade and we were the featured dignitaries!
This first meeting with Yuli's family included introductions and greetings.
Here we are entering the home:
We are being greeted by several members of the family...
INCLUDING Yulia, who is greeting Jamie's Mom in this photo.
As mentioned earlier, Bapak Osman (Yuli's uncle) handled much of the translation.
We had a few speeches and lots of smiles and greetings in body language!
After the introductions (there were quite a few) the first of the several ceremonies took place:
Siraman (or bathing) is one of rituals the bride and groom do before they get married.The symbolism is of the bride and groom preparing themsleves to be purified mentally and physically before the wedding. Therefore, they can start a new life with clean and pure heart.
Before the siramen, the bride kneels before her parents …
Notice the cape that Yulia is wearing.
It is made of Jasmine flowers!
In siraman ritual, the elders shower the water on the bride and on the groom. The water is flower water (includes petals of roses). The ritual started as Yulia’s parents showered her ... followed by her elder relatives (generally this is 9 relatives in all).
When the siraman is complete, the bride's mother must slam a "kendi" and break it on the floor. The kendi is a traditional water jar made from clay. Slamming the kendi symbolizes that the aura of the bride and bridegroom have broken and they are ready to marry.
Then the parents escort the bride from the room ...
NEXT, the groom kneels before his parents …
You will note that Jamie is wearing a shawl of Jasmine flowers, as well.
Jamie had the same bathing ritual. His parents showered him.
All family members took a turn showering Jamie...
Ann does not look like she was ready for the breaking of the kendi!
This part of the wedding included a tasty beverage that Yulia's mother served.
AND, then a generous meal of traditional Javanese food.
*****************************************************************************
There was a break in the festivities and we returned to the hotel (a welcome chance to rest, shower and change clothing). When got set to return for the next event (in the early evening) Jamie had laid out many baskets and packages full of gifts...
We loaded them into our bus ...
And, unloaded at their home.
Seserahan/peningset is set of presents from the groom to the bride. The presents signify to the bride family a binding symbol between two families. It is also a symbol of responsibility from the groom to the bride’s parents.
Traditionally, the groom and his family present the gifts on the night before the wedding day. The amount of seserahan/ peningset consists of 7, 9, 11 or 13 sets of presents.
These days, people are creative in giving seserahan. The bride and groom usually buy the presents together as they are expected to be used and worn by the bride. The common seserahan in modern time consists of clothes, toiletries, make up, shoes and sandals, bag, lingerie, set of jewelries, pray clothing, wedding ring, money and food (cake, fruits etc). There were even some for Jamie!
BUT ONE GIFT WAS THE BIGGEST HIT OF THE EVENING!
Jamie gave Yuli a gift that was a dress to be worn in Bali after the wedding there...
BUT ... UNDER the dress was something for FUN!
This certainly lightened things up. Everyone wanted to have a piece of the action:
Ann gave Yuli's parents some Maple Syrup and Honey from Maine.
AND, she gave a very special gift. Ann's mother (Jamie's grandmother) died a number of years ago. But, she was here in spirit. Ann gave Yuli some pearls that her father had given her mother and that had been treasured by her. In addition, she added a lovely pendant for Yuli that was designed just for her. It was quite a moving moment.
Ray and I gave Yuli's parents the quilt that I had made for them.
This quilt is called "Windows to Our Home" and shows scenes from the US and activities that we have done as a family.
Jamie and Yulia gave us all (from the US) these little baskets with scented soap (LOVE the Frangipani) and Facecloths with their names, the date and "Terima Kasih" written on them. Terima Kasih means "thank-you" in their language. They wanted to thank us for coming such a long way.
AND, lastly, these lovely baskets were full of wonderful gifts for all of us in the family.
It was a lovely exchange. Here is a happy Dad:
And here is a happy Mom:

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